I Promise
by Sita Moonlight
Summary: Spike comes to Buffy's house after 'Lessons'.


Title: I Promise  
Author: Sita  
Summary: Spike comes to Buffy's house after "Lessons". I know, I know, everyone's doing a post "Lessons" story, but could you just read, peez?  
Rating: PG  
Spoilers: Post-"Lessons"  
Disclaimer: Spike is mine yada yada yada,....Wait....huh? Are you saying....? No! Spike has to belong to me! Fine, fine, he belongs to Joss but can I at least borrow him every once in a while? Buffy and Co. belong to Joss also.  
  
  
Buffy sat at the kitchen table, one hand clutching her mug of coffee as she contemplated what had happened earlier. Well actually, only one thing that had happened earlier: running into Spike.  
  
What had happened to him in the last few months that was making him act as he was? Right now, he almost reminded her of Drusilla. Just his insane rambling, his sudden yelling....He was....well, to put it frankly, scaring her.  
  
Seeing him for the first time in months literally brought tears to her eyes. She had missed him while he was gone, no matter how much she didn't want to admit it, she *had* missed him. Over the summer she kept questioning herself: What would life be like without Spike? And, she couldn't think of that question without a sniffle, or two....maybe even three.  
  
When she had gone to save Dawn from the zombie monster things earlier in the day, she had told him she'd come back for him. And, she did come back for him, but there was only one problem: he wasn't there. She was kind of upset finding him nowhere to be found....well more like worried to death. What if he'd left for good this time? What if he just needed to see her and then he would leave again? But, she knew Spike, so she pretty much guessed he wasn't going anywhere.  
  
A soft knock at the Slayer's door brought her out of her thoughts of a certain vampire, and stretching briefly, she walked over to answer the door. Opening it, she was shocked, yet not, to find the exact person....err unperson she was thinking about, standing outside. It had been raining and he was drenched to the core. His shirt was still hanging open, exposing his deep cuts and his hair hung down in wet curls.   
  
Realizing she had been standing in the same spot for a while she stepped aside, motioning for him to come in.   
  
"Hey," She paused. "You'd like something dry wouldn't you? Wait one sec." She quickly ran downstairs, returning with an old shirt he'd left at her house, and his prized duster.  
  
He took the shirt, grateful to disguise his cuts under the thin and dry fabric, yet he looked at the duster, a look of disgust on his face.  
  
"No." He simply said.  
  
"No?" She asked.  
  
"It's evil." He replied. "So many people....so many people killed. Killed with that thing." He looked at her, tears in his eyes. "Why does it all have to go? My world was color and now it's black and white."  
  
"Spike?" She asked, taking a step closer to him.  
  
He looked at her, "I TOLD YOU I'M TRYING!" He screamed, fresh tears started to cascade down his pale face. "Why, why can't you see that?"  
  
She looked down at his duster which she still held in her hands and threw it onto a chair before taking another step towards him, "What happened to you, Spike?"  
  
In less than a second, his crying had turned to the insane laughing he had expressed earlier in the day, "Me? What happened to ME? What about you, luv?"  
  
She took another step towards him, their bodies now almost touching. She had to know what was wrong with him, why he was acting this way. Right now, she just wished he was like before he went to wherever he went. She'd missed like hell, and now he was acting like he'd come from just there....or an insane asylum close to there, anyway.  
  
"Spike," She looked up into his normally bright blue eyes, which now seemed to be gray. She could almost feel the pain reflected in them and she held back a shudder. "You told me before...about your cuts. You said something about trying to get 'it' out. What exactly is 'it', Spike?" She decided it would be best to start here since he wasn't answering her other questions.  
  
"The demon." He replied softly. "It killed so many humans." He looked at his hands in disgust and burst out in another fit of insane laughter. "I HAVE TO GET IT OUT!" He grabbed Buffy by the shoulders, shaking her violently. "Get it out! Get it out!"  
  
"Spike." She gripped his shoulders as well, steadying him. "Calm down, please." She felt a soft drop of water fall onto her hand, and realized she'd been crying.  
  
"Oh Buffy," He put his hand on her cheek, caressing gently. Then suddenly he pulled back. "I'm not fast. Couldn't realize. Couldn't realize. Too unsteady. Disgusting. Evil." He was crying now, as he fell onto her shoulder, sobbing. "Get it out, please."  
  
His face was buried in her neck as he cried and she let out a sob as well, latching onto the vampire.   
  
"You're not evil." She whispered.  
  
"Yes, I am. Spilled and evil. Disgusting. Stupid. The wall quivers. " He mumbled, his face buried in her neck as she felt his tears run down her neck, soaking the collar of her shirt.  
  
"No, no you're not. You haven't been in years." She pulled back, looking into his eyes. "You're. Not. Evil."  
  
He hugged her again sobbing, and she cried as well as she hugged him back.  
  
"Do you love me?" She suddenly whispered to him.  
  
"Love, Buffy. Always love Buffy." He sobbed, latching on to her tightly.  
  
"Then we'll get through this together, whatever it is. Whatever is wrong with you, I'll help you." She whispered. "I promise."  
  
  
THE END  
  
  
AN: I know angsty, but please review!  
  
Also I know it was short, but, but....hope you Enjoyed it! 


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